when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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