she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
