the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
