I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
FUCK WHALES
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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