I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
