yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
