She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
