its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
