it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i love accidental penises.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
