wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My vagina is officially offended.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
