we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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