every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
