Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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