I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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