Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
