JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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