I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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