they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so let's talk penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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