On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
