I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
