She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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