; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
