I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Too much gin, very little bucket
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
