His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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