the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
