Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This house was built for laser tag.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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