Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sorry about my life...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
