Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
