I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
