Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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