Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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