is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Terrible idea I love it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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