i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
