They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
