i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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