I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
