what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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