i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
