so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
