Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize