I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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