no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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