ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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