WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
