they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
