Duck Duck Cougar?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
