Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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