She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
