Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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