He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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