I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
