i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
