that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
