no, he came in my armpit
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize