how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
