South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
