yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This baby is an asshole
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
