She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
