i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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