speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
