OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Holy shit dude........stairs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
