I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
