butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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