just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Found your dick twin last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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