I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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