So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize