My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
