No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
