just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
