He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
