they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
